Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Managing Stress

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, Raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, As the burden becomes increasingly heavy, We won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home.

You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can."

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you have rested a while.
Posted by ramangaur at Wednesday, June 01, 2011 | 0 comments  
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Conversation between Pencil and Eraser

Pencil: I'm sorry

Eraser: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.

Pencil: I'm sorry because you get hurt because of me. Whenever I made a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller each time.

Eraser: That's true. But I don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though one day, I know I'll be gone and you'll replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.

I found this conversation between the pencil and the eraser very inspirational.

Parents are like the eraser whereas their children are the pencil. They're always there for their children, cleaning up their mistakes. Sometimes along the way, they get hurt, and become smaller / older, and eventually pass on. Though their children will eventually find someone new (spouse), but parents are still happy with what they do for their children, and will always hate seeing their precious ones worrying, or sad.
Posted by ramangaur at Wednesday, June 01, 2011 | 1 comments  
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A Wise Camel

A mother and a baby camel were lazing around and suddenly the baby camel asked…

Baby: Mother, mother may I ask you some questions?

Mother: Sure! Why son is there something bothering you?

Baby: Why do camels have humps?

Mother: Well, son, we are desert animals, we need the humps to store water and we are known to survive without water

Baby: Okay, then why are our legs long and our feet rounded?

Mother: Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert, you know with these legs I can move around the desert better than anyone does! Said the mother proudly

Baby: Okay, then why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes it bother my sight

Mother: My son, those long thick eyelashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eyes from the desert sand and wind. Said mother camel with eyes rimming with pride…….

Baby: I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eyelashes protect my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in the zzzoooooooo!

MORAL OF THE STORY IS: “Skills, knowledge, abilities and experiences are only useful if you are at the right place”
Posted by ramangaur at Monday, October 11, 2010 | 0 comments  
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A Cup Of Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. It is, but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress."

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.

Enjoy Life

Posted by ramangaur at Monday, October 11, 2010 | 0 comments  
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Effort Is Important Good Lesson

A giant ship engine failed. The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a young. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

"What?!" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!"
So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:


Tapping with a hammer....... ........ ........ $ 2.00
Knowing where to tap......... ........ ......... $ 9,998.00


Moral of the story is . . . . . . . . .... .. .


"Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort makes all the difference"
Posted by ramangaur at Saturday, October 02, 2010 | 0 comments  
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Give It a Second Thought

An American Indian tells about a brave who found an eagle's egg and put it into the nest of a prairie chicken. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them.

 All its life, the changeling eagle, thinking it was a prairie chicken, did what the prairie chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds and insects to eat. It clucked and cackled. And it flew in a brief thrashing of wings and flurry of feathers no more than a few feet off the ground. After all, that's how prairie chickens were supposed to fly.

 Years passed. And the changeling eagle grew very old. One day, it saw a magnificent bird far above in the cloudless sky. Hanging with graceful majesty on the powerful wind currents, it soared with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings.

 "What a beautiful bird!" said the changeling eagle to its neighbor. "What is it?"

 "That's an eagle - the chief of the birds," the neighbor clucked. "But don't give it a second thought. You could never be like him."

 So the changeling eagle never gave it a second thought and it died thinking it was a prairie chicken.

 The Christophers
 Bits & Pieces
 Economics Press
Posted by ramangaur at Tuesday, September 28, 2010 | 0 comments  
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You Deserve.... A beautiful cartoon story!









Posted by ramangaur at Sunday, May 23, 2010 | 0 comments  
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When its time to have a Talking Frog!





This guy is 72 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day
When he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say a gain, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen . I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!"

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
Posted by ramangaur at Sunday, May 23, 2010 | 0 comments  
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“The Law of Garbage Truck”

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free life!
Posted by ramangaur at Friday, March 26, 2010 | 0 comments  
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This Is Good

An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."

"No," his friend replied, "This is good!" "What do you mean,'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?" "If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."
Posted by ramangaur at Monday, November 30, 2009 | 0 comments  
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The scholarly gentleman and The Boatman

One day, a very scholarly gentleman, while traveling in India, decided to go across big river, so he asked one of the village people who owned a small boat, if he would take him, to this request the boatman agreed.

As they started, the sun became obscured by dark clouds, and as the river was large, the gentleman realised that the crossing would take some time. So he started a conversation with the boatman.

"Did you know that the sun is approximately 93,000,000miles away, and yet it has provided heat and light, throughout the universe since time immemorial, baring that, if it was to shift, even a fraction of an inch out of its orbit, there would be total devastation?"

The boatman replied; "My dear sir, I am just a simple man who has had no education, there is no way I could know such information"

"Then" said the gentleman "You are 25% fool".

Some time passed, and as they were coming to the ½ way mark, the thunder began to rumble.

"Did you know notice the lightening, just before the rumbling sound". The gentleman asked. He continued. "Do you know how that phenomenon occurs"

"No sir" replied the boatman.

"Its occurrence is due to the expansion of rapidly heated air," the gentleman exclaimed, " You are 50% fool.

About ¾ of the way the weather completely changed. It became dark and started to rain heavily and started filling up the little boat with water clearly making it difficult for the boatman. But the foolish gentleman insisted in questioning.

"Do you know how we get rain",

"No sir," was the reply."

" The sun evaporates water from the sea, this gets stored in the clouds which then travel by be wind power, then when they become full, it lets all the water go, over the land. That's how we get rain."

"You are 75% fool." Said the gentleman, now feeling very smug.

The gentleman was suddenly interrupted from his basqueing by a loud cry from the boatman,

"Oh no! I have lost my oar and now the water is about capsize the boat, we have no alternative but to swim the remainder of the way, luckily for us it is not very far."

"But I can't swim," cried the gentleman now seeing his own imminent death.

"Then my dear sir, you are 100% fool" said the boatman.
Posted by ramangaur at Saturday, November 07, 2009 | 0 comments  
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THINK BEFORE

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route.

No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.

He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

The driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek... Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened -Big John got on again, said "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down.

And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth.

This irritated the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of his size.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building program, karate, judo and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; So on the next Monday, when Big John got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" the driver stood up, glared back and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a Bus pass."

Moral of the story: First be sure is there a problem before working hard to solve one...
Posted by ramangaur at Saturday, November 07, 2009 | 0 comments  
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The Result of Iniiative

Some years ago, three brothers left the farm to work in the city. They were all hired by the same company at the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Frank was receiving $1,000, but George was now making $1,500.

Their father decided to visit the employer. He listened to the confused father and said, "I will let the boys explain for themselves."

Jim was summoned to the supervisor's office and was told, "Jim, I understand the Far East Importers has just brought in a large transport plane loaded with Japanese import goods. Will you please go over to the airport and get a cargo inventory?"

Three minutes later, Jim returned to the office. "The cargo was one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," Jim reported. "I got the information over the telephone from a member of the crew."

When Jim left, Frank, the $1,000 a month brother, was called. "Frank," said the supervisor, "I wish you'd go out to the airport and get an inventory of the cargo plane which was just brought in by Far East Importers."

An hour later, Frank was back in the office with a list showing that the plane carried 1,000 bolts of Japanese silk, 500 transistor radios, and 1,000 hand painted bamboo trays. George, the $1,500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.

"The transport plane carried one thousand bolts of Japanese silk," he began. "It was on sale at sixty dollars a bolt, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot.

I have wired a designer in New York offering the silk at seventy-five dollars a bolt. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found five hundred transistor radios, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $2.30 each.

There were a thousand bamboo trays, but they were of poor quality, so I didn't try to do anything with them."

When George left the office, the employer smiled. "You probably noticed," he said, "that Jim doesn't do what he's told, Frank does only what he'd told, but George does without being told."


The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
Posted by ramangaur at Tuesday, September 29, 2009 | 0 comments  
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ALWAYS TELL YOUR WIFE THE TRUTH

A Man tells his wife to go to the store to buy some cigarettes.

He walks down to the store only to find it closed. So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment. After they've had their fun, he realizes its 3AM and says, "Oh no, its so late, my wife's going to kill me. Have you got any talcum powder?"

She gives him some talcum powder, which he proceeds to rub on his hands and then he goes home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty angry. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Well, honey, it's like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great looking girl there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her."

"Oh yeah? Let me see your hands!" She sees his hands are covered with powder and... "You God damn liar!!! You were playing pool again!!!"


Moral of the story : Always tell your wife the truth. She won't believe you anyway.

Posted by ramangaur at Thursday, September 03, 2009 | 0 comments  
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THE DONKEY IN THE WELL

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.yours too… Finally he decided since the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. So, the farmer invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed shovels, and began to shovel dirt into the well.

All the other farm animals were very upset about this, because the donkey was their friend. But they discovered there was nothing they could do to help him. At first, when the donkey realized what was happening, he cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well, and was astonished at what he saw.

With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off, and take a step up on the dirt as it piled up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well, and trotted off!

MORAL: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. But each trouble can be a stepping stone. What happens to you isn't nearly as important as how you react to it. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not giving up!

Shake it off, and take a step up!

Posted by ramangaur at Monday, August 24, 2009 | 0 comments  
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A Picture Of Peace

There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.

One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest ... perfect peace.

Which picture do you think won the prize?

The King chose the second picture. Do you know why? "Because," explained the King, "peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace."
Posted by ramangaur at Tuesday, July 21, 2009 | 0 comments  
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Sleeping Through The Storm

A young man applied for a job as a farmhand. When the farmer asked for his qualifications, he said, "I can sleep when the wind blows."

This puzzled the farmer. But he liked the young man, and hired him.

A few days later, the farmer and his wife were awakened in the night by a violent storm. They quickly began to check things out to see if all was secure. They found that the shutters of the farmhouse had been securely fastened. A good supply of logs had been set next to the fireplace.

The young man slept soundly.

The farmer and his wife then inspected their property. They found that the farm tools had been placed in the storage shed, safe from the elements.

The tractor had been moved into the garage. The barn was properly locked. Even the animals were calm. All was well.

The farmer then understood the meaning of the young man's words, "I can sleep when the wind blows."

Because the farmhand did his work loyally and faithfully when the skies were clear, he was prepared for the storm when it broke. So when the wind blew, he was not afraid. He could sleep in peace.
Posted by ramangaur at Tuesday, July 21, 2009 | 0 comments  
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Obstacle in our Path

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.

The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.

Moral of the story : Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition.


Posted by ramangaur at Sunday, July 05, 2009 | 0 comments  
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Monkey and the Dolphin...





One day long ago, some sailors set out to sea in their sailing ship. One of them brought his pet monkey along for the long journey.

When they were far out at sea, a terrible storm overturned their ship. Everyone fell into the sea, and the monkey was sure that he would drown. Suddenly a dolphin appeared and picked him up.

They soon reached the island and the monkey came down from the dolphin's back. The dolphin asked the monkey, "Do you know this place?"

The monkey replied, "Yes, I do. In fact, the king of the island is my best friend. Do you know that I am actually a prince?"

Knowing that no one lived on the island, the dolphin said, "Well, well, so you are a prince! Now you can be a king!"

The monkey asked, "How can I be a king?"

As the dolphin started swimming away, he answered, "That is easy.. As you are the only creature on this island, you will naturally be the king!"


MORAL: Those who lie and Boast may end up in trouble.
Posted by ramangaur at Monday, June 15, 2009 | 0 comments  
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Think Smart,Work Smart and Rest Smart





Once there was a group of man - a young hot-blooded chap and a big number of old folks, doing timber job in a jungle.

This young chap is very hard working. He always continues to work through his break time and complains that those old folks were wasting time, having to break few times a day to drink and chat. As times goes by, this young chap noticed that even though he worked through break time and hardly took a rest.

Those old folks are chopping the same amount of trees as he did and sometimes did more than he did. It was as if those old folks work through the break time as he did. So he decided to work harder the next day. unfortunately the results were even worse.

One day, one of the old folk invited him for a drink during their break time. That young chap refused and said he has no extra time to spend! Then the old man smiled to him and said it was just a waste of effort to keep chopping trees without re-sharpening your Axe. Sooner or later you will give up or be so exhausted as you have spent too much energy.

Suddenly the young chap realized that actually during break times while those old folks were having a chat, they were also re-sharpening their Axe at the same time! And that's how they can chop faster than him and yet spending lesser time!

The old folk said what we need is efficiency by making use of our skill and ability intelligently. Only then can we have more times to do other things.

Otherwise you will always keep saying ... I have no time!



Moral of the Story: By taking a short break during work, it would make you feel fresher, think well and work better after the break! (Or am I just finding excuse to take a break). But by taking a break, it is not to stop work but to rest and re-think our strategy to go about it from another angle.
Posted by ramangaur at Monday, June 15, 2009 | 0 comments  
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